It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
this hospital has no fireball
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
