my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
so much tequila, so little girl.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
