things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
