Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
