And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Randomize
