Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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