i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
