I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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