I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
