Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
