Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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