remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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