Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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