We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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