i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
