I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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