Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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