So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
