how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
