oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
