you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
