last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
