so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
