My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
high people should be assigned attendants
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
