whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
