Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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