I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
my poor anus
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
