Non-Jews are for practice
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
