Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
