Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
