She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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