Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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