I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
