I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
love makes seman taste better
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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