Dude my mom stole all your condoms
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
