I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i need some magic done to my vagina
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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