I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
