Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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