And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
