does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
