But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
