it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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