I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
