It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
