just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
