a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize