How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
