I cockslap morals
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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