What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
