please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
