dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
