Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize