Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
