Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
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