i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
