well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
