You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
