You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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