I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
