i just had sex bonerless
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
