i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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