Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
