RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
